OUTSIDE PUNT AT WIMBELDON?

End of June.
That means rain then.
And Glastonbury.
And more rain.
And Wimbledon.

This year at leafy SW19, I don't suppose you should really look further than Johan Edfors, sorry, Roger Federer to claim yet another Mens singles title. Boring it may be, but watching him play on grass is like watching a ballet dancer at work - grace at its highest (unbobtainable for most mortals) level.
That said, he hasn't had a great build up, and I suppose is as vulnerable as he's been for a few years, I don't THINK he's played a competitive match on grass since last year's final, and he was injured for the warm-up tournaments this week.
Our hero, Andy "the gob" Murray has (like I suggested on another blog, some time ago) pulled out with his wrist injury (uh huh Andy... how dya get that then), so that leaves Roddick (the Queens winner this year- beaten by Murray at last years "Wimbers"), Nadal and Hewitt as Federer's main rivals?

Or does it?

I've always supported the "Vitches" of Vimbledon - Slobodan Zivojiinivic, Goran Ivanisovic (who won the greatest final ever in my opinion (even better than Borg Vs Mcenroe) - that Monday epic versus Pat Rafter, remember?) and now Ivan Karlovic - the 7' freaky monster-alien-stick-insect-she-woman-cat-type-thing from Croatia.

Karlovic, just "down" to his height really, has one mother-fucking bitch of an advantage at Wimbledon, as do the goofy-footers (left handers).
He has already beaten Hewitt at Wimbledon a few years ago - remember those brilliant photos at the net, as their game finished, with Karlovic literally standing almost TWO FEET taller than the little Hewitt!!!

Well.... if the matches all run to form (seedings-wise), I think Karlovic is due to meet Hewitt again in the fourth round. (I think). Then, should he sneak that one, his next problem may well be the Argentine David Nalbandyrandyandypandyian, a finalist in his own right some years ago.
These two are class players, no bones about it, but I'd like the "Croatian Freak show" to whup their asses reeeeall goood.

At 50-1, I don't suppose you'll get better value for money during the fortnight.

By the way. Anyone know what's happened to "Arse Willy-poo-piss" (Mark Phillipousis)?
Guess he must have retired some time ago, the lumbering greek (aussie) get.

What is a certainty however, is that (looking at the weather forecast), rain will mean endless delays (the roof on centre court cannot come quickly enough in my opinion), and we may even have another "people's monday"?!!

But - if the BBC decide to show Cliff having a sing-along with Cilla, during a rain-break on centre court again, I will ram two knitting needles in my ears and scoop my eyes out with a rusty spoon...

As for t' laydeez.
Who cares.
They're all virtually men anyway.
Gone are the days of the frilly underwear and soft yet urgent, pleading moaning.
Gone are Steffi's perfick legs, (yes, I know facially she looked like the love-child of Barry Manilow and "Digby", the biggest dog in the world- a paper bag would fix that), and gone are Gabriela Sabbatini's sweaty, dusky thighs.
I always fancied Gigi Fernandez mesel, until I looked closer, saw her sporting a very large handlebar-moustache and then found out she was another lesbian...! (Quelle surprise - I blame Billie Jean King and Martina Never-had-a-sofa).
I might watch the odd game, searching for another Hantuchova. (Then my hand might take over), but I'm not holding my breath (unlike Michael Hutchence), and I know its been said before, but what was the obsession with "Anna Horny-Leg-over"? She DID look like Boris Yeltsin, you know!
There was another fit-nar (Haagen good-arse) Swedish filly tennis player I remember drooling over in the past. Someone "Qvist". Can't remember her name now... aw well.
Now all we've got is hairy, muscular shrieking lady-boys. No thankyou.
Pat Cash was right. (for once).

Have a good fortnight watching that WANKER, the constanly blinking, pink-eyelashed Nazi Womble (Becker) and the two orange dwarfs (Sue Barker and John Inverdale) (though I can't be too hard on John - he's a Bristol Rugby fan) dissect the games on the highlights show..., though it still isn't the same without Dan Maskell doing the match commentary.
"Oh I say....! What a peach".


NB. 27/06/07 Two days later and I see my outside tip for Wimbledon, IVO KARLOVIC has fallen at the first hurdle!
Great big lanky get.